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Thursday, October 05, 2006

Catalog Hell

It's holiday time again, and as if I didn't get enough catalogs to begin with, the influx of holiday catalogs has begun.
I got one the other day that I had never seen before called What on Earth, Here, with over 450 NEW Products. Oh Joy.
I actually sat down to look at what was in it.
I guess their schtick is the T-shirt with the stupid sayings on them. You know the ones. The ones that all the asshole hunters with guns in middle america are wearing.
Here's a sampling of some of the sayings on the shirts:

If Idiots grew on trees, this place would be an orchard.

First the good news. I made bail.

Still plays with _________ (insert word here e.g., tractors, cars, you get the idea).

I eat three servings of vegetables per day, Ketchup, Ketchup, Ketchup.

Of course I'm right, I'm _____________ (inset nationality here e.g. Italian, Spanish, again, you get the idea).

Who are you and why are you reading my T-shirt?

My mind's been gone for years. I hardly miss it.

They just keep going and going.

The catalog was set up by "hobby", and offered chachkie type items for that hobby. Like, for bass fisherman, theres the sweatshirt that says: I came, I cast, I kicked Bass, and the fish putter, where the putter is actually a widemouth bass.

For the political activist, there's the First Lady talking action figurs, offering up Hillary Rodham Clinton, Laura Bush and Jacqueline Kennedy.

For the fart enthusiast, there's a book called Blame it on the Dog, A Modern History of the Fart. (I actually might buy this for my father aka, Stinky, farter extrodinaire).

For the car enthusiast, they offer a replica of a Chevy 427 Big-block Engine.

There's a whole page dedicated to the Redneck - you remember, You know you are a redneck if....

Crap I tell you, it's all crap. Other than the gag gift, I can't imagine people taking this seriously, and I wonder how this place stays alive.


At 10:36 AM, Blogger March to the Sea said...

we get that catalog as well..its always a good page turner!

At 6:54 AM, Blogger Sharon S said...

good bathroom reading.


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