The Ultimate Irony

I've admitted it before, and I'll admit it again.
I listen to Martha Stewart Radio. I'm a foodie you know, and they have good cooking talk on there. So I listen, not because I like Martha so much....it's more for the content, you know?
There, Done.
Well, throughout the regularly scheduled programs are quips from Martha herself.
This morning, her tip was on Money and your children....
Martha's advice went something like this: There is no better way to teach your kids about money then to teach them about stock, and to help them buy their own stock.
Thats when I choked on my coffee.

Martha continued: It is best to buy stock in a company that is established and to hold on to the stock for a long time.
Let your child pick the company that he wants to buy stock in and then buy him a share or some shares. Watch the stock price with your child on a daily basis and discuss the growth of the money. Yada, Yada, Yada....
The KICKER: Prepare your child for a potential loss on the stock.
Practice what you preach BEEEEATCH!

In all honesty, who advised her to do this???? Is it in poor taste? I think so. It is just too ironic.
The diva that gets busted for insider trading is giving advice on buying and selling stocks for your kids? Come on.
It is incredible. Martha Stewart came through the stock ordeal completely UNTARNISHED, jail time and all. Now, she gets the last laugh again with this radio spot. Incredible.
She's probably sitting there with her middle finger straight up.

I think she should just stay away from the stock market, at least in public and stick to baking pies.

I'm taking a poll

How many of you:

a) Undo your pants or your belt while walking into the bathroom, at work

b) Scan the stalls for feet and know the person who is in the stall by the shoes that he/she wears

c) Habitually go to the same stall, and curse the person who has taken your stall if it's unavailable

d) Wonder why on earth anyone would purchase single-ply toilet paper

e) Don't care to talk about your bathroom goings on?

Things I don't necessarily like nor understand

1) The feeling I get after sitting in a chair that someone has just vacated. Even if I know that person, it is still a pretty gross feeling, all warm and pee-like. It's no good. So listen up people, no keeping my chair warm for me, OK? Thanks.

2) Why is it that every time I wrap up a watermelon, nice and tight in saran wrap, totally dry on the bottom, does a pool of watermelon juice miraculously show up underneath it, getting all over the fridge? Does it seep out the rind into the saran wrap? I mean, it happens EVERY TIME and I just don't get it.

3) Middle age men who drive Corvettes or Ferraris and HOG the road (might it have something to do with the size of a certain part of their anatomy (and I don't mean their nose)).

Talk amongst yourselves.

Gladcorn

Corn Report!
Heads up on a great snack called Gladcorn, the A-maizing corn snack. You know those half popped kernels of corn at the bottom of your popcorn bowl? Well, thats basically what Gladcorn is, but bigger and better. The kernels are either semi-popped or just about to pop open. They are crunchy, not hard, so they do not break your teeth when you bite them. I have only tried the "Original" flavor, which is a basic salted kernel. I love them.
The company, GEF Gourmet Food, Inc is a Whole Food company - grains that is. They farm corn and soybeans amd sell whole grains and flours. Gladcorn happened by accident, while one of the owners of the farm was working on an alternative fuel recipe - ethanol. From the website:

"Stan's desire to live independent of as many outside energy sources as possible has led him to other experimenting. It was a quiet night on our farm. Stan was in the kitchen, working on a new ethanol fuel recipe. Gladys was catching up on some reading. Stan stepped into the living room for a moment while a batch heated up on the stove. Suddenly, KABOOM! Stan and Gladys came running. There was exploded corn all over the kitchen! Being the inquisitive type, Stan was more interested in tasting the stuff than cleaning up or explaining to Gladys - though by now she had gotten somewhat used to this sort of thing. While it didn't look like much, he discovered that it was about the best tasting stuff he'd ever eaten!"

They offer different flavors such as Jalapeno, Cheddar and BBQ on their website, as well as Soy nuts, and other Organic whole grains from other farms throughout Minnesota.
Check out the website to order.

The new Gomez

I'm really digging the new Gomez release: How We Operate.
Gomez is a band from the UK and have been playing together since 1996, had their first realease in 1998, and have been going strong ever since. I think we saw them for the first time in early 98?? or 99?? I forget, but we've seen them probably 8 times since then??

They are beautiful song writers, and have the ability to use their voices as instruments to create hauntingly light and beautiful harmonies over some intense, driving guitar riffs. Their studio releases are like works of magic, full of textures, sounds here and fills there.

Their live show is definitely RAW. I call them the masters of the "composed" jam. Those who know me, know that I love moe. and phish, who are all about the lack of composition when it comes to jamming. With Gomez, I find myself not missing the lack of composition, because they are so good at the "composed" jam, that it is OK. I love to watch Oliver Peacock, the drummer of the band when we see them play. He is like a less messy Keith Moon.

How We Operate does not disappoint. A friend who got it before me was not digging it at all, and told me I'd like it if I liked Jack Johnson. Upon hearing that, I got a bit nervous, because you're talking about 2 TOTALLY different types of artistry and music. I mean, you really should not even mention them in the same breath.
Well, my fears were squashed upon first listen. It is typical Gomez, maybe a bit more toned down, or, mature, as I might put it. Beautiful harmonies, string arrangements, driving guitars, thumping drums. I love it.

What I have found is with each Gomez release, is that 1 song sticks out as a favorite, like right off the bat. On How We Operate, after giving it a once over, my favorite song is Hamoa Beach.
I love it. I love the whole album actually. As with all of their releases before How We Operate, I know that I will listen to it probably 3X per day for the next few months!

If you are not familiar with Gomez, do yourself a favor, and familiarize yourself with them. Pick up their releases and play them loud, in order of release date:
Bring It On, 1998
Liquid Skin, 1999
Abandoned Shopping Trolley Hotline/Machismo 2000 (like a B sides release)
In Our Gun, 2002
Split the Difference, 2004
How We Operate, 2006
They also released a live recording, I think it's called Out West, a show recorded at The Fox theatre in Boulder, CO???(I think!!). Regardless, look for that release as well, as it is a good representation of their live show.....
Enjoy!

A Quick Funny

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Hunting Flies" He responded.

"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.

Intrigued, she asked,"How can you tell them apart?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."

Plug-in Redux

More on the Glad Plug-in....
I bought the Plug-in that has slots for 2 of the stinky cartridges. Apparently you can mix and match and come up with your own scent. OOOOOh, how creative.
The Plug-in website can explain it better than I can.
On the site there is a Wheel of Scents on which you can create a scent, or a "home fragrance" as they put it. For instance, I clicked on Apple Cinnamon and Vanilla Garden. Apparently, that is "Mom's Apple Crisp". Country Garden and Rainshower is "Outdoor Fresh".
You even have the option of putting a particular scent combination in your scentbox, (hey, is that like a squeezebox??) or something like that, for some time in the future, when you are in need of a new scent.
I tired to combine the 2 scents that I thought would be the most grody and this is what I came up with: Refreshing Spa and Suddenly Spring. The website said: "Very Original! Name Your Scent". I called it Douche-ay. Think they'll use it????

Anyways, at home, we chose just to use one cartridge and not 2, as to not blast out poor Louise. Also, Rob, my husband, thinks the 2 cartridge deal is just a scheme to get you to use more cartridges, so we went with the minimalistic approach.
I forget which particular scent it is (not the Vanilla yet). It is smelling OK in her room, not great, but ok. Between the Plug-In and general Diaper Pail maintenance, I think we'll do allright....

Rain, Rain, Go Away

Its bad enough when it rains (torrentially) for 5 days in a row, but throw 2 toddlers into the equation, and well, you do the math. Sure, we went out and did activities, swimming class, Costco, Trader Joe's but by this morning, lets just put it this way, I was good and ready to come into work. A weekend like this and it becomes virtually impossible to do anything but spend money.
Oh, and for the record, going out to eat with an 18 month old is ridiculously hard. We went out for Mom's day with my parents last night. We had planned to go to a kid friendly restaurant which starts seating at 5:30. I called to ask if I needed a reservation, and they were like, Oh No, you'll be fine at 5:30. So, we get there at 5:25, and they are like, do you have a reservation? So, I said, No, I called yesterday and they told me I would not need one at 5:30. She said, Oh but we have a bunch of reservations coming in at 5:30....Great. Well, they sat us, and our dinner was under way. My son, Max, who is close to 4 was great. My daughter Louise, who is 18 months, lasted about 2 minutes in the seat before we had to take her out and walk her around. Once the food came, it only kept her attention for another couple of minutes before we had to walk her around again. Thank god dinner only lasted an hour... Ah, but I digress....


Survivor Finale
So Aras was the big winner on Survivor. Not too psyched about that, as really, Terry, should have won, but what can you do.... For those of you who watched the finale, how priceless was Shane's speach at the end? That was worth a million bucks right there....

John Mayor Trio
Just got a copy of Try by the John Mayer Trio....I love it. I think John Mayer is a talented guitar player and song writer. The trio is himself with Steve Jordan and Pino Palladino. Reminiscent of Stevie Ray Vaughn at times, the trio really rocks. Good stuff.

Glade Plug-in
For diaper managment, we use the Diaper Pail. It has a top that moves forward and back and as it does so, the diaper goes down the shoot, being covered up by a plastic middle part. That way the stink does not permeate out. However, our Diaper Pail is now just shy of 4 years old, and the stink is beginning to permeate out. We decided to put in a Glade Plug-in in Lou's room, to try and stink out the stink. It just so happens that at one point, we had a couple Glade Plug-in nightlights but they have since shit the bed. We still had a box of the stinky cartridges so I ran out to the store to get another Plug-in device. I got a new plug-in as well as another box of smelly things to put in there, Vanilla-Cream to be specific. Here is the conversation I had when I got home:
My husband, going through the CVS bag: Is this the Plug-in? Why'd you get this? It's too big.
Me: It's fine.
Hub: What's this (pulling out the Vanilla Cream cartridges)? We already have some.
Me: Well, I wanted to try Vanilla.
Hub: Vanilla? Vanilla? Vanilla can't cover up the doody smell. It will just be like Vanilla Doody smell.
Me: How do you know? It might be good.
Hub: Vanilla Doody.
Anyways, we plugged in the Plug-in with the cartridge that it came with, some crazy scent like Paradise, or Desert Oasis, like those things have scents associated with them, and Glade knows what those scents are....the room smells better already....I'll have to let you know about the Vanilla plug-in when we get to it.....

Frigging hilarious

My good friend Anney had this video on her blog, and I had to swipe it, b/c it is frigging hysterical.
Check it out: HILARIOUSNESS
It is clean for work.....

Greatest moment ever on Reality TV

Last night, American Idol. Wow. Personally, I was shocked, and relieved at the same time. Out of the 4, I really didn't want Chris to win, and will feel good about any of the 3 semi-finalists winning.
But man, the tension was SO thick in there, it was really amazing to watch. Paula in tears (freak), Simon with raised eyebrows, Katherine McPhee with jaw on the ground. It was crazy.
I think in the end, Chris is going to do fine. He has gotten far enough in this competition to get his foot in the door. Looking forward to watching the final 3.

Yes, I am a statistic

So, after feeling shitty for a few months I finally do something about it, and get myself checked out. Low and behold, my tube-tied self had an eptoppic pregnancy, or tubal pregnancy for those not in the know.
I was whisked away for emergency surgery last Wednesday night at about 11pm, and have been out of commission since.
I was in total shock. I had no symptoms that I was pregnant and did not feel pregnant. I actually thought I was having appendicitis. You can imagine my surprise when the Ultrasound technician said, well, I suspect this is an eptopic pregnancy. I think I shit in my pants. Oh wait, I wasn't wearing any at the time....
To confirm, they did a STAT blood test to determine HCG levels. 2 hours later, the test still was not back, and so they had me get a home pregnancy test to confirm. It was almost instantaneous - no waiting 2 minutes here.
And just like that, I'm off to OB/GYN triage, getting a shot of morphine, and getting wheeled off to la la land to have surgery. Funny how things work.
Well, I'm recovering just fine, and wondering when this is going to happen to me again, on the left side......I think I hear a Vasectomy in somebody's future.....snip, snip.....:)

Eat me, I'm a Donut

Wednesday is donut day at work. Someone brings in Dunkin Munchkins; another person brings in whole donuts from a specialty donut shop. WHY oh WHY must I be tortured like this, EVERY Wednesday?!? I can smell them as soon as I walk in the door. They speak to me, Come on over, try me, I'm yummy. IT IS TORTURE. Some Wednesdays are better than others, and I can totally avoid the donuts. Other Wednesdays I know better than to fight the force of the donut, and give in, immediately! I kid myself by telling myself that a munchkin is just a munchkin, and it doesn't count. Then I feel like I look like that "you are what you eat" commercial, with 2 huge munchkins hanging off my ass, because you know that is exactly where they park themselves....mmmm, pure fat, I love it. Current favorite: jelly munchkins from Dunkins - pop one in your mouth, and bite down, sending the delicious jelly out in one squirt. The sugar on the outside of the munchkin provides a nice contrast to the smooth jelly. Its like pure bliss. And all it takes is just 1, just 1 to get my fix. Makes getting up at 5 to spin totally worth it!

The end is near

Well, finally, after 6 long months, I get to move to my new cubicle at work. I never thought I would get so excited over a 6 X 6 work space, but I am!
I have had to sepnd the past 6 months sitting in an office with a woman that I cannot stand. A woman who does everything loud, not taking in account that there is another person in the room. A woman who sits at her desk and eats WHOLE cucumbers. Thats right, whole cucumbers. Not slices or cubes, but crunchy, loud bites right off the cuke. UGH!
Tomorrow, I get to sit in my brand new (used) cube.
Did you know that the word cubicle comes from the latin word for Bed Chamber? That's right. According to Wikipedia, "The term cubicle comes from the Latin cubiculum, for bed chamber. It was used in English as early as the 15th century. It eventually came to be used for small chambers of all sorts, and for small rooms or study spaces with partitions which do not reach to the ceiling." I wish my cube could fit a bed, I'll tell you, I'd probably be alot more productive.
We have designer Richard Propst to thank for the cubicle. He designed the cube as we know it, a modular unit with an open plan, called the Action Office, in 1965. The Action Office was not efficient at using office space and so it eventually was morphed into the cubicle as we know it today.
Hey, its not really so bad, working in a cube. It actually affords you more privacy than you think it might. I like to personalize my work area, putting up lots of pictures and jokes etc. It is what keeps me sane. We are not allowed to have plants in my office, but if we were, I probably would keep a plant or 2 at my cube. The top drawer of my 2 drawer file "cabinet" at my cube is dedicated to candy. I am the keeper of the candy drawer. People come by on a regular basis to sample what ever is in the drawer. Some people actually add to it, others do not. Its another thing to keep myself, and others sane.
Well, I'm looking forward to my pending move tomorrow. Now, if they'd just give me some work to do, I'd be all set....

Idol last night

I have to say, I was a bit disappointed w/Idol last night. No one was truly stand out. And FWIW, I really think Chris Daughtry sucks. He always sounds out of tune to me. I liked Katherine's second song much better than her first one (singing Phil Collins did not agree with her). I thought Paris was just OK, didn't really like her rendition of Kiss much - do you think Prince was watching last night??? I liked Elliot singing On Broadway, but didn't love his second song. How did Taylor manage to get to sing Something? I liked it, and Funky Music??? Awesome! I hope Paris or Chris goes home tonight.